Unexpected Gamers
by Publicola
Summary: In the sky over Little Whinging, an owl dies in her cage. In the quiet suburb of Burbank, a cheerful Nerd Herder receives an email from an old college friend. At Camp Half-Blood, the new kid is claimed by a rather reclusive god. On the road in Westeros, an orphaned girl meets a Faceless Man. For each of them, the true adventure has barely begun. Ongoing one-shots, up for adoption.


Hedwig's Game of the Year  
By Publicola

Disclaimer: I don't own a snowy owl; therefore, it would be illogical to presume I own Hedwig, let alone the entire Harry Potter universe to which she belongs.

Author's Note: This fic is UP FOR ADOPTION. I wrote this first chapter due to how much I loved the premise of the story, and indeed, it was a labor of love. Sadly, though, I am barely conversant in RPG game mechanics, and I know that if this kept up, any future chapters would be too much labor for too little love. Let me know in case you'd like to adopt it, and I'll post the information here so readers can enjoy your efforts as well.

Published: 5-18-14

* * *

**And then, out of nowhere, out of nothing, they were surrounded. At least thirty hooded figures, suspended in midair, formed a vast circle in the midst of which the Order members had risen, oblivious—**

**Screams, a blaze of green light on every side: Hagrid gave a yell and the motorbike rolled over. Harry lost any sense of where they were: Streetlights above him, yells around him, he was clinging to the sidecar for dear life. Hedwig's cage, the Firebolt, and his rucksack slipped from beneath his knees—**

"**No — HEDWIG!"**

**The broomstick spun to earth, but he just managed to seize the strap of his rucksack and the top of the cage as the motorbike swung the right way up again. A second's relief, and then another burst of green light. The owl screeched and feel to the floor of the cage.**

"**No — NO!"**

**The motorbike zoomed forward; Harry glimpsed hooded Death Eaters scattering as Hagrid blasted through their circle.**

"**Hedwig — **_**Hedwig **_**—"**

**But the owl lay motionless and pathetic as a toy on the floor of her cage.**

* * *

On an invisible perch above the cooling corpse sat an invisible owl, too dim and dismal for her Harry's eyes. If the specter could speak human, she might have noted how pathetic it was that a bird of prey would die in a cage, or how nonsensical it was that she was in such a cage when her human knew she was perfectly capable of flying alongside him.

"Preck." The owl-ghost swore as she eyed her former body.

Then the gossamer veil started to close, and shades of night faded to a piercing brightness.

But they would not fade for long. From the distance came a noise, then a sound, then finally a bright 8-bit melody, simple yet somehow haunting.

"Hoo?" If Hedwig could speak, she might have said something like 'Isn't my theme song?'

Then the veil open, and out of the brightness appeared letters, flashing bold and black:

**GAME OVER**

"Preck," Hedwig spat, meaning something along the lines of 'My human was fate's plaything for his whole life; why should I expect to be treated any differently?'

Owl is a very complicated language.

The letters faded, and were replaced:

**YOU DIED**

**LEVEL:** Post Owl  
**EXPERIENCE:** 46 / 300  
**KARMA:** Moderately Good

**ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:** Neither Snow Nor Rain  
**ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:** My Owl, My Friend  
**ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:** Bacon Neophyte  
**ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:** Tragically Ironic Death

**NEW GAME? YES / NO**

"Preck." The human translation for that is unfortunately quite unprintable. If Hedwig weren't incorporeal at the moment, she'd probably be banging her head against the nearest wall. "Preck. Preck. Preck."

**CONFIRM: Exit Game?**

"Kre kre kre!" Hedwig frantically tried to return.

**NEW GAME? YES / NO**

"Preck?"

**CONFIRM: Start Over?**

"Preck." Hard enough for a human to navigate a voice-controlled menu, but for an owl? It was a minor miracle she managed it. Lucky for her she knew how to read. Hedwig was a trained post-owl, after all.

**WELCOME TO  
HEDWIG'S GAME OF THE YEAR**

**START GAME  
LOAD GAME  
OPTIONS  
QUIT**

"Hooo?"

**OPTIONS**

**MENU CONTROL: **Voice**  
IN-GAME MUSIC: **Disabled**  
DIFFICULTY: **Snowball's Chance in Hell

Hedwig barked, precked, and hooted her way until she finally succeeded:

**MENU CONTROLS: **Point-and-Click

Now the menu in front of her took on a semi-physical form, and she could use her claws to select options. Better.

**DIFFICULTY: **Beginner

Much better!

Now Hedwig discovered several new options that had been previously grayed out.

**TUTORIAL: **Disabled**  
IN-GAME HINTS: **Disabled**  
AUTO-SAVE: **Disabled**  
IN-GAME MENU: **Disabled

She hastily enabled all of these and returned to the main menu. There was nothing else to try ('LOAD GAME' was grayed out as well, no doubt because she hadn't yet saved a game), so she clicked:

**NEW GAME**

In a blink a cut-scene began, filling the space around Hedwig with snippets from her Harry's life.

In quick succession Hedwig bore witness to her Harry's birth, the telling of the prophecy, the events of that fateful Halloween, a short shot of the celebrations in Diagon Alley, but then a much longer scene showing the old white-bearded one dumping her Harry on a doorstep.

"Preck."

She didn't recognize the person doing the voice-over, though it reminded her of one of those BBC nature documentaries the Dursleys would occasionally watch while Harry was locked upstairs.

"Years past, and the infant grew into a boy. But little did the young Harry know that he was acclaimed a hero of the Wizarding World, that while he toiled in obscurity under his relatives' hateful eyes he would soon learn his true heritage... and his true destiny. For a prophesy foretold that Harry Potter would be the one to defeat the greatest Dark Lord in history. But Harry would not fight alone. No, he would face the darkness with his oldest friend and greatest ally by his side, the only one who could guide him to fulfill his great and terrible fate. That ally was none other than his owl. And her name... was Hedwig!"

The cut-scene ended, and a three-dimensional prompt popped into the space before her.

**PICK YOUR AVATAR**

Hedwig surveyed the platforms in front of her. A few were blurred out, their only recognizable feature a very large question mark where the label would go, but the rest were easy to see. Here was a 'Barn Owl,' there a 'Tawny,' even a 'Boreal Owl' hiding over there in the corner. Soon her eyes landed and locked onto one particular figure:

**SNOWY OWL**

**SIGHT: Mostly Nocturnal **(+2 Perception, +2 Perception at Night)**  
HEARING: Excellent **(+4 Perception)**  
VISIBILITY: Very High **(+5 Charisma, -5 Stealth)**  
APPETITE: Bacon! **(Recover Health from Human Food)

Why mess with what worked before? She selected the figure before her.

A new screen popped up.

**SELECT YOUR ATTRIBUTES**

**STRENGTH: **4**  
DEXTERITY: **6**  
INTELLIGENCE: **2**  
MAGIC: **2

**(0) Points Remaining**

Hedwig quirked her head. Perhaps…

**STRENGTH: **1**  
DEXTERITY: **1**  
INTELLIGENCE: **10**  
MAGIC: **2

_I suppose that would make me a Highly Educated Owl, now, wouldn't it? _Hedwig preened, then stopped short. _Good heavens, I was… I was thinking! With words and sentences and everything! Calloo, Callay, oh frabjous day! _Hedwig's brow furrowed. _Now where would I have read Lewis Carroll? Bah, never mind that._

Beside each attribute was a circled question-mark. Clicking each of these in turn, Hedwig discovered that each attribute boosted her abilities, but would also assist in gaining various skills and perks that she might pick up down the line. Strength referred primarily to her physical power (and damage in battle), but would help boost her constitution or overall health. Dexterity mainly indicated her physical agility, but would also help her pick up perception-based skills, among others. Magic had fewer immediate benefits, but provided much bigger boosts to a broad set of skills down the road. Intelligence, meanwhile, was exactly what it sounded like: it improved her critical thinking. Perhaps just as importantly, however, Intelligence would increase the rate at which Hedwig gained experience and skill points.

In short, for an owl who had spent far too many summers trapped in a house with Harry's video-game-savvy cousin, that stat sheet looked like precisely the sort she'd choose to start min-maxing her way to victory.

On the other hand, her Harry was constantly fighting for his life, even as early as first year. If she only gave herself minimal strength and dexterity, how much help would she really be?

**STRENGTH: **3**  
DEXTERITY: **2  
**INTELLIGENCE: **7**  
MAGIC: **2

For Harry! For glory! For bacon!

**SELECT YOUR SKILLS**

**LEVEL 1: **Owlet**  
EXP: **0 / 100**  
**

**Charisma: **5**  
Constitution: **6**  
Flying: **4**  
Hunting: **5**  
Magical Detection: **1**  
Perception: **6 (+2 at Night)**  
Resistance (Physical): **3**  
Resistance (Magical): **2**  
Stealth: **-5

****(0) Skill Points Remaining**  
Unlock More Skills Throughout The Game!**

Again clicking through the question marks, Hedwig discovered how skills were calculated ('base' points calculated from attributes, plus bonus points picked up from various achievements, plus skill points gained with each new level) and what skills were good for (Charisma helped improved her relationship with humans and other owls, for instance). She couldn't affect her skills yet, but with her intelligence level, Hedwig was taking no chances when it concerned the mechanics of how the game would affect her life.

**SELECT YOUR PERKS**

**CURRENT PERKS**

**Bacon! **Recover Health from Human Food **Requires:** Snowy Owl Avatar

**AVAILABLE PERKS**

**Super-Hedwig:** Gain +1 Attribute Point. **Requires:** Level 1  
**Red in Tooth and Claw: **More Food/Health from Hunting. **Requires:** 2+ STR  
**Rubber-Necking: **Dexterity affects Perception Skill. **Requires:** 2+ DEX **  
Post Owl Honing Charm: **Can Locate Mail Recipients-People. **Requires:** 2+ MAG**  
Post Owl Apprentice: **Can Locate Mail Recipients-Homes. **Requires:** 2+ INT  
**Post Owl Journeyman: **Can Understand Human Speech. **Requires:** 4+ INT  
**A Highly Educated Owl: **Unlocks 'Reading' Ability and Skills. **Requires:** 6+ INT

****(2) Perk Points Remaining**  
Unlock More Perks Throughout The Game!**

After some deliberation, Hedwig chose to select 'Post Owl Honing Charm' as the most relevant to her chosen profession, and 'Super-Hedwig' to grab the extra attribute point, which she predictably allotted to Intelligence.

**STRENGTH: **3**  
DEXTERITY: **2**  
INTELLIGENCE: **8**  
MAGIC: **2

Hedwig was sorely tempted to pick 'A Highly Educated Owl' to allow for more level-grinding once she found her Harry again, but she wasn't sure how useful it'd be in the short term.

At last her character creation was complete. The screen in front of her flashed:

**BEGIN GAME? YES / NO**

This time, she wouldn't fail. This time, she wouldn't die. This time, she would save her Harry.

With a click of a button, the screen went blank and the world around Hedwig went dark. Soon she felt a pull, somewhat like how her Harry described what Floo-ing felt like. Then there was a light at the end of the tunnel – _there was a tunnel?_ – and the pull continued, though now it felt somewhat like a suck.

A few second later, it plopped her out in the middle of a parliament of owls, just as loud and chaotic and cacophonous as the human one.

**WELCOME TO THE TUTORIAL:  
POST-OWL ACADEMY**

Oh.

Well darn. Turns out it might be a while longer before she'd find her Harry again after all.

* * *

**A/N:** This story was prompted by a discussion on Caer Azakaban of michaelsuave's (id:1946685) impressive "The Adventures of Harry Potter, the Video Game: Exploited." A conversation about how Harry's owl might fit into his RPG framework, led to an amusing set of imagined scenes where Harry is frustrated by the fact that his owl is better at level-grinding than he is. That led me to imagine basing an entire fic on that notion, and... here you go.

As I mentioned at the beginning, I do not anticipate continuing this fic. In fact, I pretty much guarantee I won't. If anyone wants me to send an omake or two, I'd have no objection to adding it here or (with sufficient volume) to a separate chapter. But for the moment, the only real hope of seeing this continue would be if some other author decided to adopt this, in whole or in part.

A few thoughts for where this story might go: obviously Hedwig would be rather single-mindedly focused on level-grinding until she completes her training and finally manages to meet her Harry. Hopefully one of her acquired skills would be lock-picking, so she can continue her level-grinding despite being locked in a cage at EEylop's Owl Emporium and later at the Dursleys. One of the major challenges in writing such a fic would be ensuring that Hedwig is not just a tag-along to some of Harry's adventures in Hogwarts: while the stations of canon might be fun, that's not enough to drive a self-standing fic. On the other hand, I can already picture a scene with Hedwig flying herself to near-exhaustion in order to return the Philosopher's Stone to the Flamels. Make of that what you will.

As far as game mechanics go, I envisioned each level (from Owlet, to Post Owlet, to Post Owl, to… something bigger) would require an addition 100 EXP from the previous one to level up. Each level would add 1 attribute point, 2 perk points, and between 2-5 skill points to Hedwig's arsenal. Skill points would allow you to pretty easily customize game-play, depending on where you allot them: you could turn Hedwig into the world's first Combat Owl, make her a world traveler if England starts to bore you, or turn her into Harry's friend and study partner ('A Highly Educated Owl,' anyone?). Another element of game-play would involve maxing out the various attributes to enable special perks: 10 Strength, for instance, might enable Hedwig to go toe-to-toe with a mountain troll, while 10 Intelligence might enable her to, say, speak like a human.

In fact, one of the long-term plans I'd considered for this fic would be that maxing out Magic at 10 would unlock a new Avatar, allowing Hedwig to restart the game as an owl animagus, with a main 'Quest' of unlocking her human form. This of course leads into our first snippet.

* * *

**Omake by Valentine Meiken (id:405709)**

Hedwig sighed. She'd done what seemed like a million play-throughs, and now she was looking at her chance to design a human avatar. She looked at the bushy haired girl she'd designed, clutching a book like the intellectual she'd become, and considered what she'd do next.

A new option had come up, which effectively would reset her entire game-play, locking her out of all her previous avatars, but she'd be able to use her new avatar.

She entered the name she'd chosen for her human name, looking thoughtful as she wondered where she'd heard it from —

**Confirm Name? : **'Hermione Granger.'


End file.
